"bulldozer years" makes so much sense. Exactly how I felt back then. clumsy and destructive and definitely not hot and cool. I see a lot of my past mirrored in the train of thought here
Such beautiful writing here, so many standout lines and ideas. I've been thinking a lot recently about the idea that self-hate takes a lot of narcissism, and I was reminded of it again when you write about the funeral and begin by saying it's the first time you haven't thought of yourself in a while (or at least the speaker does). Loved this layered view of the past and how it shapes our present.
I agree with you but also beyond narcissism and self-loathing, I'm just a very self-conscious person. As in, conscious and occupied with the self. It was a subtle nod to that Jemima Kirke story lol. I've really come to think that shifting your focus on something other than yourself is good for you. And it's really amplified by these life moments that just really virtually aren't about you at all.
"bulldozer years" makes so much sense. Exactly how I felt back then. clumsy and destructive and definitely not hot and cool. I see a lot of my past mirrored in the train of thought here
I'm glad it resonated. To me personally, it also encapsulates a lack of sensitivity for other people.
Thank you for reading!
Such beautiful writing here, so many standout lines and ideas. I've been thinking a lot recently about the idea that self-hate takes a lot of narcissism, and I was reminded of it again when you write about the funeral and begin by saying it's the first time you haven't thought of yourself in a while (or at least the speaker does). Loved this layered view of the past and how it shapes our present.
yah no, the speaker haha....
I agree with you but also beyond narcissism and self-loathing, I'm just a very self-conscious person. As in, conscious and occupied with the self. It was a subtle nod to that Jemima Kirke story lol. I've really come to think that shifting your focus on something other than yourself is good for you. And it's really amplified by these life moments that just really virtually aren't about you at all.
reading this in the train going to my hometown and now i am feeling,,, some way
I apologise